It’s Mama…….
“Journeys Comes in All Colors…..Mine Happens to Be Pink”
Of you three children, I think your sister, Madison most enjoys my writing, but it is my hope that someday, when I am not here, you boys will find joy in my writing as well since it will most permanently tell you how deeply I love you all three…..as only your Mama can
I am learning that Life really is but a series of one long journey filled in with the imprint of many smaller journeys…and some of us lucky ones are blessed to have our loved ones walk along with us as we go.
The past ten months have been one of the most physically and emotionally challenging passages of my sixty-two years of life….
and I would not change it
Recurrence of breast cancer is not about breast cancer
It is about life
It is about loving others
It is about faith that God will carry you through whatever comes
And, it is the color of light…to illuminate the path
It is largely about what you do with the time you have while you are living…
It was in 2008 and is again in 2024, one of the greatest gifts I have ever been given
I find myself having lived in my “comfort zone” these past sixteen years since I last crossed paths with breast cancer and I did not even realize how comfortable I had gotten with life
There is nothing necessarily wrong with being in a comfort zone unless God calls you out of it and, that is what I believe He did to me…
And, I am grateful…
Someone gave me a poem about “What Cancer Cannot Do” which was very encouraging as I received the news that I once again would be facing the dark demon that is cancer. It has a place of honor on our refrigerator to remind me that cancer is a “thing” I faced, not a status I keep and that it cannot keep me down unless I let it
So, as I exit the hard battle of testing, diagnosis, doctor appointments, hard decisions, white cold fear, tears, surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, I find myself with the challenge of what do I do next
And, as I make that decision, I also watch you, Kenton, finally and truly leave the nest, and I watch you, Johnson, move with your marriage to a new state, and as well, Madison, I watch you make your own path in life…as you should
Your Mamaw, Betty McKenzie, always shared with us, “life is short if you live to be old” and she was right
Our time here is just a breath and what we do with it is our legacy to those we will leave some day
And, what I hope to leave you children is my faith
I hope to leave you an inheritance, some photos to remind you of good times, a journal or two of major events in your lives and maybe even some money, land, and investments
But, ultimately, what I hope to leave you is the knowledge that you were very loved as only “your Mama can”
And, my faith in God that through all of the journeys we go on in life, the journey God lays out for us is the only real one with meaning
For, I know there will come a time for each of you when you realize you, too, have to decide what it is you will leave behind to you children and grandchildren…
And, I hope you chose first
The journey with the color of light…
The light of your faith
ILYAOYMC,
Mama
