It’s Mama….
Leaning Into Sixty….
And I am sure that God who began the excellent work within you will keep right on helping you grow in his grace until his task within you is finally finished on that day when Jesus Christ returns. – Philippians 1:6
HE woke me up this morning at 1:45am with this thought in mind that I am to start leaning into sixty. Over and over in my mind as I pulled out of sleep and into waking thought were the words….”lean into sixty”, “lean into sixty”, “lean into sixty”….
I don’t even know what that means but I do know that in less than twenty-five days, I will, God willing, turn the clock on my life into that new decade and already, I think it is going to be different.
I’m not sad to have less time on my timeline than I used to. I don’t envy the days of my youth where leaning into my parent’s raising made life simple as they were pretty straight forward with their boundaries. 
I no longer long for the season of freedom I had as a young twenty-year-old where working, friendships, and faith and falling in love were the hardest – not hard at all really – things I had to do
I have learned to embrace that my season of raising my precious babies is over and time now is spent basking in the adult friendships we have where time is made joyful in watching them as they go out into the world living their lives and building their dreams 
I am past the season in my life where cutting ties from a broken marriage that pulled me from God and into spiritual death that would come to me if I did not cut the tie that binds. Forgiven is the sinful manner in which I tore myself away and in its place is soulful gratitude for a God who knows our heart and gives me grace that goes out to the world to return me to His fold. I am eternally changed and grateful
I have moved beyond those who do not nor will ever know my story yet condemn, even to this very day, shielding themselves from investing in truth when believing a lie is simpler. This was a harder effort..this believing God loves and forgives when man/woman does not and that it is God’s love/forgiveness that matters
I have learned that obedience to God means painful tearing apart of our own desires, learning to stay silent when our heart would but speak. That God’s ways and timing are perfection while ours are not and so, we are to wait and trust
I have moved into the season of life where a tribe is not my goal, but a family is and that my family might look a little different than what was intended at birth
I have moved into the time of life where friendships are measured by love and nothing else. While there is kindness, compassion, and sharing in my friendships, it is not required. Love is the fuel and “love is all we need” is a spiritual truism God gave us
I have moved where I realize that lifting and gifting others quietly is the most beautiful of gifts. Where confidences kept, prayers lifted, and quiet saving space for another is transformational
Spiritual growth becomes clearer to me and my need to focus on our heavenly home and not this world is evidencing itself
Learning to go as God calls me and not as others would bind me is becoming life changing
Facing that fact that we are God’s handiwork, even within our imperfections and that His making of us is no accident. That God uses all of our life to bring glory to him whether it be from our mature spiritual understanding of him or the use of our leaving and returning to his arms, leaning on Him
Leaning on God
Leaning on Jesus
Leaning on the Holy Spirit
I find tender comfort that as I lean into sixty, I can lay down everything and let go of the sad, lift up the joyful, and lay down my head on the lap of a Lord and Savior who has walked with me every step of every day of my life and who knows my heart
That until He calls me home, my work here is not complete and He calls me to use my life’s experiences to His glory…all of it
That until He calls me home, I still have worth and value in His eyes, on His heart, and for his kingdom
And, in that leaning I have found peace,
His Daughter,
Lesa
