Its Mama…..I Gave You a Heart Rock
All of my children were surprised by the rock that I gave them for Christmas. I am not the ordinary mom….a little to verbal…a little too sentimental…a little too direct at times.
But I know something they don’t know
I know that our lives are changing at a rapid pace and that the more rapid the pace, the harder it is to get together…the harder it is to get together, the harder it is for my love to fill their cup “as only their Mama can”
They may laugh, joke, and at times even balk at some of the “traditions” or “stuff” I do, but I am at a season in life where I trust my heart to know to go ahead and do the things God lays on my heart anyway….even if that means I give my kids a rock for Christmas
And, actually, it is NOT a rock…it is a soap stone which is beautiful and intricate and is shaped in the form of a heart. It is weighty, hard, and pinkish/brownish/shiny and it is a solid reminder to my children that I love them…that wherever they go, whatever they do, there will always be a piece of my heart that goes with them
I no longer make apologies to them for loving them strong
For embracing the power of my motherhood and wrapping them in the love that I have for them
I am not afraid to do silly things to exhibit my care for them
To remind them that of all the people in the entire world, no one is going to love them as does their Mama
God only loves them more
And, as I empty my home of the clutter that we needed to raise them when they lived here; as I go from drawer to drawer and closet to closet deciding what to let go of and what to keep as reminders of their younger days, I am compelled even more to lay down the weight of my love for them
So that no matter what happens in the days and years to come
There is no doubt
That their Mama loves them “as only their Mama can”
That their Mama…this Mama does not take for granted the gift that they are in my life and that God knew exactly what He was doing when he paired us together
I embrace every aspect of motherhood to my three children
The good of it…the bad…the beautiful times and those which dropped all four of us to our knees in ways I never thought we would survive
But we did
And it is time
To watch them use the wings they have been given
And hope that the investment of my heart into theirs will not be in vain
That, no matter where they go, who they are with, what are the times the face
They know
Deep in their heart
Where soul meets soul
And a Mama’s heart beats in unison with theirs
That they are not just loved because they are mine
But they are loved
Because they ARE
So, I’ll take the joking and kidding and laughing at the “rock” that Mama gave them and “what am I supposed to do with this?” look they gave me….
It’s okay
Because what I know that they do not is that
There will come a time where a simple heart-shaped soap stone (paperweight if you will) will be something that will be a physical reminder
Of the weight of their mother’s love for them
And they will understand
What I know now….
ILYAOYMC,
Mama
