Facing Your Fears so you can Reach Your Dreams
There are times in our lives where we have to face our very real and genuine fears to reach our ultimate dreams, goals, and aspirations.
Sometimes, those fears are “in our heads” or “bigger than what they really are” so facing them is a simple matter of pushing emotionally through in a physical way. For example, when I was learning to ride a two -wheel bike, my Mama would tell me to be like the little Thomas Train and repeat to myself, “I think I can, I think I can” until finally I did.
I honestly don’t remember who taught me how to ride my bike, whether it was my Mom or Dad, but I have vague memories of hearing Mama quoting those words…”I think I can, I think I can, I think I can” which were slightly out of breath as they pushed me down the street on Cherrywood Drive in Radcliff, Kentucky.
Thing is, Mama was right. Eventually (and it seemed rather quickly), the eager learner seeking independence which comes from cycling on my own was able to fly up and down the street where we lived. It was exhilarating in so many ways and a great accomplishment covered in the encouragement of my mother. In this case, my fears, while genuine, were really bigger than necessary because the risk was a booboo falling off the bike or not learning to ride that day. While real to me, they were small in comparison to challenges I would have later in life.
But what they did for me was prepare me for the next “I think I can moment”.
Then, there are times where we strive for dreams and goals where the reality is there is a more serious risk at hand. For example, moving away to college.
I remember well when it was your senior year at Frankfort Christian Academy, and you were researching colleges to attend. You were so heck-bent on moving “as far away” from us as you could possibly get and felt that WKU would help you achieve that. Efforts to encourage you to stay closer to home by either your dad or I were pretty unsuccessful and off to WKU you went. In this case, the risks were real on so many levels – emotionally, physically, spiritually, and socially. But off you went, achieving the distance you so eagerly sought and for a while, I think you were content if not at peace.
What you pretty quickly learned is that distance from us removed protection by me. Amid the fun and activity and academia you found were challenges for which you were not prepared to face the meanness of the world, roommates who stole, people who were ugly, loneliness from your family, and the unknown chaos at home. By your second semester, you realized that WKU was not an environment which was supportive of wellness and asked to come home and return to a job you had worked prior to college. It was a parental “bite your tongue” time for me because our family was in chaos which was a great contributor to your situation. But, come home you did to live with me, and your brothers and we re-started our new family existence of “me and the three”.
At the time, so many were fearful of your return home, but I genuinely respected your ability to recognize you needed to face the fear of leaving college and all the repercussions and comments you would receive from family and others. But you told me many times over that “I think I can do this; I think I can do this; I think I can do this”, and you did do it. You moved home and returned to work, eventually got an apartment, learned some very hard lessons about life, and set on the journey to achieve some truly amazing goals. You would not be where you are today had you not had the courage to face your fears and the chaos of life in that season.
Then, there are challenges you choose to face which are genuine life-changing challenges with very real and authentic risks, but which you take for the greater good of the balance of your life. You are making such a choice now.
As your mother, I try to capture my thoughts and fears and hold them close to my heart so as not to influence you one way or another because you have to live your life. I totally understand and recognize the “whys” for the decision you are currently making and the risk you are taking. It is not one made out of weakness or immaturity, but one made with purposeful intention and tons of research, but the risks are real and are for the balance of your life.
I know in your heart you know you can do this. You also know that it is not going to be easy and that to achieve your ultimate goal, you will have to work harder than you have ever worked in your life (and that is saying a lot because your life has been one of hard work). Every day will be a challenge for the rest of your life. Your stamina, self-control, self-discipline, and self-love will all be challenged on a day to day, hour by hour, and at times, minute by minute basis. You will have times of great celebration and seasons of sorrows and frustrations. You will feel all the feels, grieve all the cycles, experience some hilltop moments, and hopefully very few “in the pit” moments.
But what I do know as being your Mama for the past 31 years is that you have all the ability to take charge of this season in your life and meet it with success!
I have a video somewhere taken right after you were born in which the nurse said as you screamed your lungs out post-delivery, “Mama, we have a fighter on our hands”, and she was right.
Diagnosed with PKU at 9 days of age, you have fought every single day of your life for wellness in all circumstances. During puberty and middle school drama, you fought for acceptance and peace. During high school, you fought to find your identity. During your college years, you fought to find a stable foundation as the home you had known was rocked by the behaviors of your dad and me. Post-graduation from college, you fought to find a healthy life for yourself. As you entered the work force, you fought for your independent license as a LCSW working with those addicted to drugs, low self-esteem, and poor decisions.
Turn to today and you are earning a reputation and a clinician of excellence. You use all of your life experiences to help encourage others that there is hope when you “tell truth in the room” and “face your fears”.
When I have people talk to me about that “wonderful, I just love her, she is a tough but amazing therapist” named Madison McKenzie, it takes all I have not to shout out to them…Yes! Yes! She is amazing and I am her lucky Mama!!!!!
But what you have faced most of all which will guide you best of all is your relationship with God. You have fought to have a healthy relationship with God, kept close to church whether it was in person or via telehealth. You have been brave enough to seek out a church that meets you were you are and keeps your eyes on God, not the wiles of men/women.
You are ready, baby
While I am not going to give you one iota of advice on whether or not to follow through with the plans you have for your life, I do know that if you were ever ready to take this step, it is now
But, more importantly,
You are covered, baby
Your Grandparents cover you in prayer
Your Mama, Ladder, and brothers cover you in prayer
Your friends cover you in prayer
Your fur babies….well, they just cover you in fur prayers
And, most importantly, you are covering yourself in prayer….
God offers us many promises in His Word
One of which is that He hears us, He will never leave us when we seek Him with all of our hearts.
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10 (NLT)
The LORD watches over you — the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm — e will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. Psalm 121:5-8 (NIV)
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”
God is so faithful to provide love and encouragement to us when we seek to live our life in His Will and to His glory. I encourage you to stay very close to Him through prayer, reading of scripture, praise songs, and surrounding yourself with Godly people who will be a source of Godly encouragement and support.
And, also….
Always know that next to God’s covering is the covering of your family. Your brothers, stepsiblings, nieces, nephews, grandparents, aunts, Uncles, cousins, and family who knows of your journey will be covering you in thought and prayer and that is everything…
You are ready
And, we are ready to walk with you as you
Face Your Fears and Reach Your Dreams,
ILYAOYMC,
Mama
Exodus 14:14
Ephesians 3:20
