Its Madi….
World Destroyer
You made me want to die, that night.
You made a request unfathomable of someone who used to love me.
You needed me to do something…
Something I would’ve never even dreamed of asking you to do.
Because it would’ve broken you.
You asked me to bend, because you knew she wouldn’t.
She’s not capable of loving you like I loved you.
Even in a hurricane, you knew I’d still be your shelter.
Even when you WERE the hurricane I still ensured your safety and ability to get to what you wanted.
You manipulated my love for you.
I asked what you needed of me that day.
“I need you to come get your things, and let her be here while you get them.”
“Okay. As you wish. I’ll see you at 5.”
And I was there.
The damage you caused.
You never knew how to handle someone who loves like me.
I had proof of that now.
Proof I never even needed.
My love was the kind that penetrated your spirit,
Made you feel powerful and unbreakable.
The kind that men like you tend to see as coming from a weak woman.
I am anything but weak.
Even she could see that.
I entered your home, the home we once shared.
I saw things out of place.
How odd this feels to be here again, I thought.
I could feel the pulse from my heartbreak beating from within the walls.
The same walls that witnessed my dreams dying.
I got my things from your house.
Box after box my friends and I moved what was left of me, out of the home that we shared together.
The empty shell of a house, harboring an empty shell of a man.
Your “safe place” and my prison.
You sat on the couch and watched me remove myself from your home, and your life.
While she smiled and held your hand.
Sneering at me.
Like she had won a trophy, in getting you.
She can have her trophy.
All I wanted was your heart.
Your lies turned you into the man I feared the most.
The monster I always knew was inside you, reared his ugly head.
What a nightmare.
Who are you, even?
Who was this stranger wearing your face?
I thought I knew you.
I gave you what you wanted that night.
I left you hugging your weakness ever so tightly.
I’m sure the memory of that day is easy for you to block out.
You witnessed me exiting your life and you didn’t even say goodbye.
I wanted to die.
I asked for the gun you bought me.
I was going to use it that night.
You went to search for it, and I followed.
So did she.
She didn’t even trust you with me when she was under the same roof.
I laugh at that moment now.
How was I a threat?
She was removing everything of mine from your house, mind, and heart.
I’m sure she was satisfied that night when she laid down next to you.
But were you?
I’m glad I couldn’t find the gun.
So was the friend who had to sleep on my couch.
I just didn’t want to feel anymore.
But I couldn’t be alone.
You made me want to no longer exist.
Now I know how it felt to have your world destroyed.
But you had what you wanted.
That’s all that mattered to me.
The very thing you said you always tried to avoid doing to others, you successfully completed.
To me.
You destroyed my world.
But you didn’t destroy me,
Although sometimes I wish you had.
It would’ve been much easier.
You never really knew how to love me, anyways.
I wish I could say I was surprised.
But unlike you, I won’t lie.
Goodbye
