Its Mama…..
K is for Kenton, Your Brother
I John 4:1
And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.
Quiet Warrior…..when I think of you, Kenton, these are the first words that come to mind. From the moment you were born until today, you quietly went behind the scenes being you, and often surprising others, including your siblings at time, with your strong ability to fulfill your dreams and aspirations.
My first experience in witnessing your quiet strength was when you were born and they laid you in the bassinet while the doctor delivered your brother. I know I have told this story a million times, but it was surreal in the moment. The nurses had not listened to me telling them that I was getting ready to deliver you boys telling me “No, Mama, you have a long time yet to go” and yet, I knew you were in fact coming and they were in fact very wrong! Dr. Hager finally came in to check me and sure enough, you boys were not only coming, but you were coming that very minute. So much so that the “delivery team for twins” was not all together in the delivery room. When we initially got there, it was your dad, Dr. Hager, and me with one other person (I think a nurse of some sort).
It was quiet in the room when you were safely delivered, and I was able to see you for the first time….they brought you to me briefly and then laid you in the bassinet to be cleaned up and all I remember was the quiet….
I kept waiting for you to scream and howl like your sister did when she was born…always being told that was a sign of a healthy baby, but you laid there, eyes crinkling in the quiet….I could feel you breathing in my heart
It was if there was a heart string going directly from my heart to yours pulling all of my attention your direction…waiting….listening….worried because you were so quiet…
You were not but a few inches from us, but for a brief second, I could not breathe waiting for you to…
Finally, Dr. Hager said, “Lesa, he is okay…he is not going to cry until his brother gets here so focus on getting out baby B and then baby A will cry”….
And, sure enough….once Johnson was delivered, crying…..
So, did you
Cry….
That is one of the moments in my life I hold most sacred….and, powerful.
From that moment on, you were always my quiet daredevil of a child….
Your sister was older, and the only girl and she of course had all of that “first child, first grandchild (on my side) and first girl (in a long time on your dad’s side) so she definitely received her share of attention and more.
And Johnson was the louder, more active, more extroverted child who kept a happy smile, and talked from day one it seems so he definitely received his share of attention and more
And, then there was you…
My child who from the moment of birth seemed to be my observer, surprising and delighting others with your capers from a very early age…
What I know as your mother is that you are a deep well of passion, introspection, adventure, and desire to do well on everything you try to accomplish….
Because you are more outwardly quiet, it was fun to watch the surprise of folks when you were the instigator for adventures between you and your brother…
It was you who we could not keep in your baby bed at night….it was you who led you and your brother to crawl out of your bed, out the back door at our home and across the street to Dot and Elmer’s house at four in the morning when you were around 2 years old. As a result, we bought a mesh “tent” with a zipper closure to keep you in and even that did not work! The very first night, you figured out how to unzip the tent, so we put a large safety pin on it, and you were able to figure out how to unpin it and get out again!!
It was you who fell during a basketball practice with your tooth cutting all the way through your lip and while you shed a quiet tear or two, once you knew you were okay, you went right back into the game.
You were a goal setter from a very early age…telling me you wanted to be a scientist, an Eagle Scout, a Writer. You loved to climb high, run fast, and people watch.
I think it was you who carried the responsibility of being a twin the most…often putting your brother a head of your own growth and well being when you were little. That turned around once you two got older, which is fair😊, but when you were little, you truly did appear to want the best for your brother, often standing back while he moved in front of you.
It took you the longest to realize that he is him and you are you….at times, it was painful to watch you put your brother in front of yourself knowing that you were just as able and capable, but when I would encourage you to go and be, and achieve, you would say, “I’m good, Mama…I want Johnson to do this…”
You were my dreamer, telling me frequently of goals you had for yourself…in May of 2006, you told me “one day I want to live in London, England with a fireplace, where it rains a lot and write books” – you were and are an amazing writer. You even had an amazing pseudonym which I won’t say here but I still hope you write that book using that name…it is wonderful!!
Like me, it took you a little longer to figure out what you wanted to do in your life, and that is okay….I attribute some of this to being a twin and having to work harder to “find yourself and do it on purpose” . It has been such a blessing watching you go out on your own and accomplish your goals….winning first place at Western Elementary school, being my first child to hit an out of the park home run in league play, getting recognized for your writing, being the first to jump from the tall launch at the lake the time Ian took you kids….
It is you who has learned to be a pilot flying your first solo flight on June 1, 2019 to Wayne County, Monticello, Kentucky…
It is you who is a certified scuba diver, a traveler to Africa, Resident Assistant, and who battled through some challenges and made it to the other side with a quiet dignity and grace that melts my heart.
One day I will remember forever is the day you texted me and said, 
“Mama, your boy is a pilot” – August 19, 2019
I loved that you received one of the hardest jobs a person could get at BMT (I had to google it) and yet, you learned to do it with authority, poise, and strength. That you found your time at BMT to be strength building and overcoming the significant challenges made you come to know yourself in a more real and powerful way.
Because you have great heart, you oft times forego your own needs for the benefit of others and then later are upset that you did not look out for yourself. Don’t do that. Self-care is not selfish….it is necessary to live a healthy and wholesome life. 
Because you are introverted, you will need to work harder on having strong relationships. But remember, you don’t have to have many friends to demonstrate wellness…rather, one or two good friends who will be there for you in good times and in bad is actually very good.
While you are your brother’s twin, you are not his keeper, nor are you responsible for him or to him. He loves you with everything he has and especially when you are exactly who YOU are meant to be.
In fact, Johnson fares the best in his life when you are faring well in yours
While you shared the womb, and that bond is significant, it is no more significant than that you have with your sister.
Madison prayed for you and your brother long before you were even conceived. She told your dad and I we were going to have “twin brothers” before we went to our first ultrasound. And she will always be there for you in good times and in bad, through sickness and in health, until death do you part. Don’t take that for granted…use it to be the glue for everything you do in your life and stick together strongly and on purpose. 
My prayer for you is to continue to grow in self-awareness, confidence, and adventure. Finish what you start, make time for others, grow your friendships and be purposeful in caring for, loving, and knowing who you are and being that person. Always remember that everyone has their own belief and respect them even when you disagree, don’t be afraid to fail or make a mistake, just go fix it quickly. Bind to your sister and brother, but not so much that you lose yourself, and
“Go find yourself and do it on purpose” – Dolly Pardon
Because who you are is wonderful. Who you are is a strong blend of tenderness and strength….all of us see that….
I love you more than all of the stars in all of the skies in all the world…no matter where your adventures take you, we will always be covered by the same sky…and deepseated love for one another
I love you as only your Mama can,
Mama
PS. I asked your siblings to share their thoughts on your with some descriptive words….they found you knowledgeable, kind, and bold, kind-hearted, empathic, warrior spirit, opinionated, rare, dependable, wise, bold, understanding and honest. I think when your siblings both have similar things today about you, that is a pretty good sign that they are accurate. Next to your Mama, they know you best….lean into the blessing of their words, but never let the words of others define you, rather use them to refine you to be your best you. Madison and Johnson love you….make it a priority to be in their presence, and when you do, give them the best of you. Lean on one another because they are a part of your foundation and you theirs. And never take them for granted….love them with everything you have…you will be so grateful that you did.
