If It’s Monday, It’s Mama
T is for Traditions, Training, and Truth
Ours is a family of Traditions. You do these family things over and over again with the hopes that it will bind you together, but as a parent, you never really know if it works unless you children tell us. One of you did this year in a birthday letter to me and it has fortified my commitment to keep not only the traditions we have, but to add a few new ones.
That letter said, “In looking towards the future, I am so grateful for all of your little traditions that I know I make fun of but deep down, really appreciate. I’m glad you placed these moments in my heart as I know they will transcend into my own family one day.”
Knowing that this child was probably speaking for all of you meant so much to my mother’s heart…it acknowledges that efforts put into place to bind us together really has made a difference.
Some of our most notable traditions are:
* Calling you children “home” for My Birthday and Mother’s Day” to which you have almost always come
* Mother’s Day Kite Flying which started when Madison was in pre-school and continues to this day. Kites are always purchased whether or not we get to fly them on the day due to rain. A few special memories are when Johnson sent me the shirt “Keep Calm and Fly A Kite” from Boot Camp back in 2014 and then this year when he snuck into town to fly kites during this COVID season. That meant everything. 
* “Good Night, ILY” ……..”Good Night, ILY, too/2”
* Singing to each of you a song which was special to just you: Madison was “Baby Mine”; Kenton was, “Man on the Moon” and to Johnson, “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” and to all of you, “You Are My Sunshine” and Keith Urban’s “Someone Like You” which still draws a smile when I hear it!
* ILYAOYMC – I love you as only your mama can (I don’t remember when I started writing it on your car windows, but I think it began when Madison started driving.
* I love you more than all the sand on all of the beaches in all of the world – Madison
I love you more than all the stars in all the skies in all of the world – Kenton
I love you more than all the blades of grass on all the fields in all the world – Johnson
* “Me and my three” – people living in our Garden Springs Neighborhood used to call us “Me and the three” and I always loved them seeing us together!
* Black eyed peas on New Year’s Day – a tradition that has been a part of our Millstead family for all of my life
*Setting New Years Goals on January 1 of each year on index cards and putting them on the refrigerator
* Having something hanging from you children on the rearview mirror of every car I have ever owned since having a child. Currently, a heart Kenton bought with his own money which says “Mom” on it and an angel my Mama, Shirle Millstead, gave me as I battled breast cancer
* Elf on the Shelf was introduced in 2011 our first Christmas as a blended family. It came with a twist that instead of doing naughty or silly things, ours went from family member to family member giving gifts (gas cards, restaurant cards, etc.) and we enjoyed the fun of seeing what “Trixie the Christmas Ho Ho Ho” would do, name given to her by Ian and Kenton/Johnson
*School Shopping – each year, even at our poorest, I would take all three of you children to the Mall to buy school clothes and then Wal-Mart to buy school supplies. One year, I took you individually and then out to lunch together.
* Praying together before we made decisions
* Decorating big for Christmas and Halloween
* Reading to you when you were little from my “Mama rocking chair”
* One Birthday Card – I have one birthday card for each of you and have written in it (now on notebook paper) for each of your 25, 25 and 30 years and now, I have started this for your two nieces
* Our whole family’s “every other year trip together” – 1 was a cruise, 2 was the Opryland Hotel for New Years, 3 will be Savannah/Hilton Head
* Ian’s gifting you a full tank of gas every birthday and Christmas
And the list could and does go on, but I think you children are learning the value of these traditions as you get older. They are our “touchstones” – memory making opportunities that bind us together and I am grateful for every one of them. ILYAOYMC, forever and one day!
T is for Training
I think one thing children don’t realize is that parents are always in training to be a wholesome and good parent and they are always attempting to train you, even when you are adults. I think that is because we are forever learning, and in that learning, we realize we have made mistakes or missed out on opportunities or actually just learning something new which we want to share. Sometimes, that might be annoying, but the reality is we are all forever learning, changing, and growing and that is a healthy way to live.
Training is one of the reasons I call your Grammy every morning before I go to work. I consider it a privilege to hear what she has to say and learn from things she wants to teach me. At eighty-two, she has a long life filled with wisdom and I truly don’t want to miss any of it. She told me recently of a significant lesson she had gained this year – and, that is “the gratitude I have that God let me live so long because I am a better woman, wife, mother, grandmother, sister, friend as I have aged.” She told me, “when I was young, I was so black and white in my judgement of others who did not live they way I felt they should live.” “I have now lived long enough to realize that God calls me to love and that it is not my place nor calling to judge.” I love that Mama has shared this with me because I have been on both sides of this…being judged and judging and neither is a good side to be on. Mama has taught me to follow the commandment to Love and that has made all the difference in my life.
T is for Truth
I think one of my very favorite things about our family is the bond we have because we allow one another to share truth and know that you will be loved and cared for no matter if that truth is painful or if it is a blessing. We have been through a lot together, all of us really, and being able to lay down “truth in the room” with each other is one thing that makes us a strong family. Sometimes we do it in words, sometimes truth has come in the form of a letter, there are even times when it was found just sitting on the couch with one of you as you poured out your heart. I think if all I teach you in this life is to Love God, Love Each other, and tell the Truth, then I will have accomplished my most important Mama goals.
Truth really does set you free. There may be consequences. But, when we stand together as a family in truth, we can handle anything. And, we have the freedom to be our real and authentic selves with one another, that is a great gift we give to each other.
Live in truth…always…in all ways
T is for Traditions, Training, and Truth….and it is for The Love I have for Each of You!
Blessings, Babies…
Truth is….ILYAOYMC
Mama
